Don't Hate Hubby

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Something Slithered Towards the Wife.

Since I'm now the proud owner of a 1000 worms (see previous post), I've been reminded of a Saturday not too long ago. You wanna read about it? What? Of course you do.

It was one of those rare Saturdays when none of us had a single plan. Nothing. It was awesome. My wife decided she wanted to test-out her "green thumb." Not me. I was gonna "test-out" the couch. I was in "no go" mode. I was gonna sit on my butt, drink some beers, eat a steak, and drool at the TV. I was gonna make Al Bundy proud.

About 10 minutes after sinking into la-la land, I heard an ear-piercing scream. That was quickly followed by a body (arms flapping with pruning shears in hand) running light-speed for the backdoor. There stood my wife, breathing heavy and looking pale. She finally managed to get a few words out...well, sorta. " in my face." My very insensitive response went something like this..."What Sweetie, a little grass-critter got you all jittery?" After she impersonated the thing a few times and swore how big it was, she even had me a little jittery. Next thing you know, I'm tiptoeing in the backyard with a shovel cocked and ready. Just behind me is my wife, with knee-high boots, clawing into my back. If only the neighbors could have seen this snake-slaying duo.  

Of course, after several laps around the yard, the HUGE snake was never found. Following an investigation via Google, my wife swears it was a copperhead. And the legend lives. My wife's a bit animated. Every time the tale is retold, that copperhead gets much bigger and this husband get much lazier.

In other words, I'm a lazy husband and we have an anaconda (with babies) nesting in the backyard.


  1. Oh boy...blame it on the 1000 pet worms. They mated with the backyard snake. Or, they did a creepy horror movie thing and became one just to scare your wife. Right now your pet worms are giggling over it somewhere.

  2. You two are great...thanks for the comments.

  3. Snakes are adorable. Plus they keep the mouse population down.

    Some time soon, your wife will be describing it as fifty feet long, ready to devour...

  4. I love snakes! Great entry. Humorous.. though I have a feeling your wife doesn't think so..

  5. Remember William, it's already morphed into an anaconda.

    And DailyWoman, my wife has to approve before I write...I like staying inside.