The day I said "I do," my new wife said "I don't" like your impressive snoring. Our first solution was cranking up the room volume, causing my snore to blend in with other noises. This worked until our son was born. Yeah, you sorta need to listen for a newborn. Strike One.
The second attempt was a procedure called a uvulectomy (they knife-out that dangly thing in the back of your mouth). Of course, my snore laughed at this procedure and evolved into something my wife described as, "Scary and worse than before." Strike two.
Next stop, a visit to the pulmonary doctor where a "sleep study" was scheduled. I was soon in a strange bed, forced to sleep in a strange position, strapped to a mattress with wires glued to my legs, chest, face, and head. All this, while some stranger monitors every move I made. As you can imagine, NOT A VERY DREAMY NIGHT. I actually attempted to count sheep. I did finally pass-out from the stress of being stressed. Even worse, the test results were inconclusive. In other words, sounding like an irate lion through the night is "inconclusive." Strike three.
I wasn't done. I refused to strike-out and visited a "sleep clinic." We met with the Doc and went over every detail of my nighttime noise (my wife was quite cute with her demonstrations). Long story, short, another dreamy sleep study.
A week later, I was diagnosed with mild sleep apnea, which is gasping for breath (snore) throughout the night because your throat collapses. The solution is a CPAP machine. This device blows air through your nose and prevents your throat from closing. Now let's be honest, it takes a while to get comfy with this thing. You basically go to bed looking like a fighter-pilot and no, that ain't cool. When you finally do get use to it, it's the best sleep ever.
And I'm finally putting this problem to rest.