In my post college era, I became way too determined to find my soul-mate. I had her all planned in my head...her look, age, personalty, just about everything (I wanted Audrey Hepburn). I had been through a few relationships and got burned a couple times. It hurt. It hurt bad and I was becoming bitter. I was looking for love and so worried I wouldn't find it. I was out of control.
One of my favorite quotes is from John Lennon. "Life is what happens while you're busy making other plans." So that's what I did, I made other plans. It was time to quit thinking about myself. I began spending more time with my nieces and nephew. I dialed old fiends and caught up on their life. I visited a lady in the nursing home. I took long walks with my mom. I built things with my dad. Basically, I took a break from searching.
There was also this writing from an unknown author that I read every morning with my coffee. It went something like this... "Don't go for looks, they can deceive. Don't go for wealth, even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright. May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, enough hope to make you happy. The happiest people don't have the best of everything, they just make the most of everything. Happiness lies with those who cry, those who hurt, those who have searched, and those who have tried. For only they can appreciate the importance of the people who have touched their lives. Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a tear. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past. You can't go on well in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches. When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so that when you die, you're the one smiling and everyone around you is crying."
Who-Ah! That's some powerful stuff. When you read those words every morning, you begin believing it. That's exactly what happened to me. About a year after tossing my selfish, looking-for-love ways, I found the one. I found the one that makes me smile. I found love when I wasn't looking and she's NOW the better half of Hubby.
After posting that, I just may lose my man-card.
Hang onto that man-card! :) Like so much in life, the harder you look the less you see. It's called focus, and sometimes it works against us.
ReplyDeleteIt's challenging to let go of a little control and admit that we may not even know what's best for us.
Glad you found the one.
EJW
I think you can keep that man card. I takes a real man to admit how much he loves his women. Or is it, it takes a real man to wear pink? Either way, I think you're safe.
ReplyDeleteNikki
Yup. That's how it works.
ReplyDeleteI can't wear pink...draw the line there. Thanks for the comments, fellow bloggers, I always appreciate 'em.
ReplyDeleteWonderful post Hub :)
ReplyDeleteThanks SA...I appreciate you reading it.
ReplyDeleteMy favorite TheHub post so far....
ReplyDeleteYay - isn't love lovely when it works? I bet your lady loves you more every day, especially with you writing such sweet stuff!
ReplyDeleteWriting sweet stuff helps, but I frequent the doghouse quite a bit.
ReplyDeleteAnd thanks DR, glad this is your fav.
That was lovely :) But don't you think that sometimes love needs a little help? Looking for love - as in helping to make it happen (dating sites, blind dates, etc), not hounding and stalking it - isn't such a bad thing? Love doesn't always just walk in. I'm a killjoy! Sorry lol
ReplyDeleteBut when you find the one, you just know :)
You're no "killjoy" Natalie and you're right. I was looking too hard and I had already painted the picture of who I wanted. I met my wife on a blind date, so I was still getting out there....I just quit obsessing.
ReplyDeleteThanks for reading.